Slander!!

Watchu talkin 'bout willis...

Football tough guy Brian Urlacher dresses his son in pink Cinderella diapers and paints the 3-year-old's toenails blue, the child's mother charged in Will County court Tuesday. The mother, Tyna Robertson, threatened to block Urlacher from seeing the boy if the beefy linebacker keeps it up. Urlacher's attorney, Anita Ventrelli, filed a motion trying to stop Robertson from keeping 3-year-old Kennedy away from Urlacher. Robertson, in court for a hearing on the motion, said she would allow the visitation, as long as Urlacher puts away the Bears-blue nail polish and puts their son in gender appropriate pull-up diapers. After the hearing, Robertson claimed her son has become confused by the toenail panting and wearing pull-ups designed for little girls. "He pulls down his pants and says, 'Mommy, look how pretty they are,' " she said. Robertson also said Kennedy told her, "Big boys paint their nails," and said he refused to take a bath for two days to keep the blue polish on his nails from washing off. "He'd say, 'Mommy, I don't want to get my nails wet. I don't want to mess them up,'" she said. "It took two hours to get him in the bath." Robertson said her pleas to Urlacher to get him to cease the toenail painting and Cinderella diapering went unheeded. "He says he can do whatever he wants," Robertson said. "[Urlacher said], 'It doesn't make him feminine. It doesn't make him gay.' She said, "You're confusing him, if he's a boy or a girl." Asked to comment on the toenail and diaper claims, Ventrelli shot back, "Typical Tyna, talking to the press, as in virtually every other instance." He declined further comment. (http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/view/78992)

What kind of bullshit is this? Look lady, if you want to get paid more for child support, at least put some effort into making up a believable story like "he's hung like a moose and I can't take it" or "he forces our 3 year old son to wear Old Spice and tackle random strangers."

This is cleary taken out of context. Sure, maybe Urlacher paints his kids toenails Bears Blue. That's cool, no big deal, kind of like a fan who paints his whole body blue. Whatever... not gay, possibly awesome. Now, the diapers confused me at first, but then I realized what's going on - Brian Urlacher is a man-beast. The only way he knows how to discipline is to maim, cripple and/or destroy. I'm sure someone gave him this idea about punishing the kid with having to wear pink diapers - ultimate shame in the presense of such manliness.  

Regardless, this slander must not tarnish the living legend. His ex is clearly just trying to get some press and misses the beef. Urlacher is the epitome of testosterone and his kid would have to have 6 or 7 X chromosomes to offset his manliness. Stop dragging the kid into your sad life, you filthy whore.

Sidenote: Urlacher could easily be Bruce Willis' son:

"You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck."

-Thanks to ShaimsterMcRaim for the tip