Bears Hire Marinelli

I done gone and shit mah-self.

So...let me get this straight: Lovie has "friends." People he likes, and people he gives jobs to. Say, for example, Bob Babich. Since taking over our once-terrifying defense, Babich has found a way to make us one-dimensional and rather lackluster. To rectify the problem, Lovie fired everyone OTHER than Babich this offseason.

Brilliant.

Pardon me, but can I have a bite of your child?

So, keeping with this theme, we hire Marinelli. Unlike Babich, Marinelli has a few things to his name. On the plus side, he was the other candidate for the Bears coaching gig when the Bears went with Lovie instead. On the con side, he DID just lead a team to an NFL-record 0-16 season. But he's Lovie's friend, meaning his job security is intact for eternity...and that the rest of Marinelli's family is welcome for jobs with endless terms, like perrenial shmuck Joe Barry:

"I used to dress up as Jim Thome so that I could try and sleep with his wife."

Yikes.