Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Oh Eddy - You So Crazy!

I just love this story. I can't make it much funnier than it is, but here goes nothing:

Knick center Eddy Curry was slapped with a shocking sexual-harassment suit yesterday by his former driver, who claims the 6-foot-11 hoopster tried to solicit gay sex from him.

Stunning court papers charge that Curry, a married father of several kids, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky "in the nude," saying, "Look at me, Dave, look" and, "Come and touch it, Dave."

Curry, 26, also made Kuchinsky perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [into which Curry had ejaculated] so that his wife would not see them," the Manhattan federal court suit says.

Kuchinsky, 36, who is straight and Jewish, also alleges racism, saying Curry hurled slurs at him, including "f- - - ing Jew," "cracker," "white slave," "white devil" and "grandmaster of the KKK."

Ho-ly shit. I can't even think of ways to make that more outlandish! Maybe Curry inhaled a goldfish through his asshole and threatened to shoot it at the driver? There's really not a whole lot much more that Curry can be accused of doing here. Kuchinsky wants $98,000 plus compensatory damages (about 5 million), which all things considered, is a pretty good wage to be a spooge collector.

"Instead of paying him, they discriminated against him," said Kuchinsky's lawyer, Matthew Blit. "Imagine going into your boss' office . . . and he stands up and drops his pants and he asks you [to] take care of him."

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