Friday, January 23, 2009


They look like such a nice family. It's too bad that I now have to hate them passionately.

BREAKING: Ricketts family is picked as the winning bidder for the Cubs.

I was really hoping that the asshole business mogul that hadn't seen a baseball game since the negro leagues would win out, but it looks like the Cubs are getting the pick of the litter. Really, if I were a Cubs fan, I couldn't be happier with the results here.

First of all, Tom Ricketts (the one with the winning bid) is actually a Cubs fan, not just some asshole who wanted to make a buck. He grew up in Wrigleyville, watched the Cubs on TV, and probably had lots of sex with men in Boystown. He's all Chicago.

Second, the stadium comes with the Cubs. All the "amenities" are secured, such as the field falling apart, suing Under Armor over ads, and the trough to piss in. Hot chicks are a lock for Summer, and Ronnie Woo Woo will still know where to go to be annoying.

Finally, Ricketts is an owner who will let management do what's best for the team, and not meddle inbetween because they play favorites or have a certain style when doling out money (see: Jerry Reinsdorf, Mark Cuban, Steinbrenners). He seems very down to earth with his wealth, and will likely shell out for whatever Piniella thinks he needs to win.

Goddamn it.

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