Thursday, January 8, 2009

More Losers, Please

I done gone and shit mah-self!

Just to clarify for the hundreds of rumor-starved media outlets - Lovie Smith is under contract for a few more seasons, and is not going anywhere. The only way that the Bears get a new head coach by next season is if the Bears have an utterly abysmal season - and that's still not going to be assessed until 2010.

That said, it looks like the Bears are ideal suitors for the homeless folk that call themselves the Marinelli. It's seriously like giving a hobo a dollar - as soon as you've shown you'll help more, the others will flock to you to pick your flesh from bone. In this case, offering a warm meal and a bed to Rod Marinelli produces these vultures:

"If I had an opportunity to work for Lovie Smith, I would cherish it," said Barry, who was fired as Detroit's defensive coordinator when Marinelli was dismissed as the Lions head coach.

Translation:

"Change? Mister? Change?"

Dude - Lovie didn't offer you a job, but now he's going to feel guilty about only helping one of you. At first, he'll do what he can to help (like freeing up some coaching spots with the removal of some defensive coaches). However, once all the Phil, Dave, and Shaniqua Marinelli start coming out of the woodwork, Lovie's going to start taking a different way home from the train.

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