Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Jose Contreras in the best shape of his life...by not pitching

Shortly after posing for this photo, Jose snapped this guy's neck and slept with his girlfriend. Seriously.

Two things stick out in my mind when dealing with Jose Contreras - being older than time, and his current injury. Which is why the latest news of Jose losing 30 lbs is so damned confusing. How the hell can you be in the best shape of your life if you're not even allowed to go back to throwing a ball off a mound yet?!

[Contreras] also took stress off his legs by losing 30 pounds this off-season thanks to a better diet and a workout program designed by a new personal trainer in the Tampa area.
Yeah, I'll bet NOT WALKING really helped him stay trim. I'll bet that new diet helps Jose look young - he only looks 65 now! In other news, Bartolo Colon is still fat, unattractive.

No, really:

Guillen defended his projected No. 4 starter when a reporter asked whether he thought Colon, who is listed at 5 feet 11 inches and 245 pounds, was out of shape. "Colon was 350 pounds when he won the Cy Young Award (in 2005)," Guillen quipped. "He's not a model. When you're a model, you have to be careful. He's not a jockey. … (Colon) surprised me. He's in better shape than what I thought."

How can Colon be in better shape than anyone thinks? I expect Colon to be face down in a Little Caesar's personal pan pizza wearing a wifebeater that's covered in pizza sauce. Did he wear a bib or something? Ozzie in love with corpulent pitcher - story at 11.

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