Monday, February 23, 2009

Traitor Joe

To Joe:

We will miss your defense, and your ridiculous clutch hitting. We will miss watching you make full extension dives to stop line drives, and jumping ridiculously high to snare rockets off the bat. We will miss your home run trot in the 7th, 8th, and 9th innings.

We will not miss your tendency to lie about just how injured you are, or your stubbornness that forced you to play through pain for almost an entire season without telling us. We will not miss the way your stats (both offensively and defensively) suffered horribly as you tried to conceal your injury.

And you, Joe, will miss normal infield grass. A guy with a bad back playing on artificial turf? Are you nuts!?

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