Greetings from Pawtucket!

I'm, uh, really excited to be in Pawtucket. Can't you tell?

I mean, everyone here is really nice. Did you see this cool hat they gave me? It's totally radical. I also get to play Center Field and stuff - it's super keen.

So, uh, how's everyone in Chicago doing?

(listens, sips on Hi-C)

Wow...they haven't won a game since I left? Man, that's a total bummer. It's almost like my presence is somehow tied to the success of the ballclub...

(shifts uncomfortably)

Yeah, it's pretty exciting being up here in Pawtucket, but you have to find ways to fill the time, you know? Everybody really dedicates themselves to being really good at one thing. Josh Fields and I were talking about hobbies. When Josh told me that he was into Jesus, I was like, "cool, maybe I should get a religious hobby too!"

So I made this:


I know it's not perfect - it's really hard to get a lock of hair off of a bald guy, but it's a work in progress.

So who did they trade me for?

Mark Kotsay is white! They traded a me for another white guy!?!?