Remember when you were younger? (When you didn't play hide the salami in your parent's bathroom and cry yourself to sleep every night, clutching your junk?)
All of us have had that moment in our youth; you know, where you heard/made up a hilarious joke, and it was your personal duty to spread that joke around. And - son of a bitch - you never got the proper credit for it, did you? You'd overhear it on your family vacations, in school, in the glory hole stall next to you....you get the point. In all those cases, you'd think to yourself... "That's all me! I made that joke popular! Where are my fucking props/royalties?!" (see the "Fishsticks" SouthPark episode for reference - http://stansdad.com/season13/episode5/)The Dong, with your help, is about to create an internet phenomenon that will right the wrongs that all of those joke-stealers of yesteryear.
Behold, I give you....Emplastro:
Yes, that is a stain from TPC's last teabag party
OK, "so what," you might say. Just some douchebag with a huge mole on his face. This, I grant you.
However, this is not just any old douchebag. You see, "Emplastro," as he has been named in his home country of Portugal, has been crowned the "Videobomber" of the country. You know how when people are posing for a very organized picture -right before they take it - you jump out in front of them with your balls hanging out? (Maybe that's just me?) Well, Emplastro does that...but without the balls. On live TV. EVERY BROADCAST in Portugal. The guy finds every
possible live TV broadcast, goes there, and plants his smug-ass face on the shoulder of the news reporter (sometime dodging beatdowns from the TV anchor and passerby), and just sits there. It's a sight to behold. Here is a link to some of Emplastro's finest work, with a video sample below:
So why is Emplastro so important to the Dong? Aside from exposing you to the funniest fucking theme ever (i mean, google "emplastro." nothing comes up. The guy deserves to have a book written about him, for gods sake. Portugal, you are shielding the world from his BEAUTY!!!!)
Why? Well, he looks a little familiar, doesn't he...