Unreal

This neck-brace sucks!

News is trickling in that the Cubs may be involved in a three-way deal that would essentially net them Jake Peavy in exchange for Mark DeRosa. My two gut reactions are, "how the hell did the Cubs pull this one off" followed immediately by "oh yeah, it's the Cubs. Welcome to Chicago Nomar #2."

The trade would essentially send DeRosa to the Phillies, who would part with a few prospects (such as pitcher J.A. Happ) that would go to the Padres, ultimately sending Peavy to the Cubs. You already know my feelings on the Cubs acquiring Peavy, but trading your second-baseman doesn't do anything unless you're SURE you're going to get Brian Roberts.

Stay tuned.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

Pop quiz - it's late, and you're hungry. Getting out of bed takes effort, and you bust your ass for the fans all week anyways, so none of that. Gotta stay in shape, though, so any bedtime snack needs to be healthy.

Do you:

A: Get drunk and go boating

B: Carve an apple and yourself in the process

C: Attempt to get up, walk two yards and collapse on the floor.

If you answered anything but B, you're obviously trying too hard to be Cedric Benson. The lone source of optimism for the Bulls, Derrick Rose, is 10 stitches richer after an apple-related incident.

Quote Rose:
"It was a silly incident," Rose said. "I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm."

So Rose lays down in bed and snuggles up to a machete. Fucking brilliant.

Go Bulls?

T-Shirt Winner

Hey StalkingErinAndrews - E-Mail us your address and shirt size so we can send you something you'll never be able to wear in public.

Thanks,
The Management

Big win, still in the hunt

If I flex like this and hook up with my brother, can I also get my own brother-up website??

Bears win, improve to 7-6 and stay one game out of 1st behind the Vikings (8-5). Packers lose (surprisingly, actually) and likely won't make the playoffs.

Defense was solid, although stopping David Garrard and the Jags offense this season is nothing to write home about. It seems like when the Bears play well on the opening drive (offense or defense), we play with a lot more confidence for the rest of the game, win or lose. Orton was able to start off the day with a short TD pass (=confidence) and we had momentum for the entire first half. I don't think they got a first down in the first 45 minutes of the game.

The Jags D is clearly hurting from their offseason moves, missing Marcus Straud and Aaron Glenn. They were always a top 10-15 defense since I can remember... now they look like crap. Nevertheless, they did a nice job containing Forte, who "only" had about 110 yards from scrimmage. Israel Idonije got some pressure on Garrard moving in from special teams and obviously Dan Manning (can't keep calling him Danieal) had a huge day. Good showing from the Bears TE's too (Olsen and Clark both had TD's) and a really nice grab on Olsen's TD.

I will admit, Fred Taylor never ceases to amaze me. I remember a few years ago when he guaranteed 2000 yards (I think this was in 1999/2000) and everyone thought he was crazy. He subsequently got injured within 10 seconds and missed most of the next 3 seasons. I remember when he was "Fragile Fred" (he's only missed a handful of games in the last 5 years) and everyone hated him for being questionable every game, all the time. I think Taylor is one of the most severely underrated players in the league, as was his teammate Jimmy Smith, one of the greatest fantasy WR's of all time. Taylor finished the game with 53 yds on 13 carries and passed newly incarcerated O.J Simpson and Corey Dillon to move into 16th place on the NFL Career Rushing Leader board.

We get a tough matchup with New Orleans next week and GB the following week. Both are going to test our secondary. Minnesota goes to Arizona (tough) then home to play the Falcons (surprisingly tough as well).

We're still in this bad boy!!

P.S.  Brother up fools!!

Dodging a Bullet

Uh...not quite perfect form

So, all the talk yesterday was that the Sox were about to send Jermaine Dye to the Reds in exchange for Homer "Homo" Bailey. I'd been hearing rumors about it all week, and at one yesterday, it was even confirmed and waiting for league approval. I have never been happier to hear that a Sox trade has been hot air than I am today.

Now, this probably goes against everything I've been saying the last two weeks - I want the Sox to trade the older, more expensive players, and to pick up some young quality pitching. At first glance, the Dye for Homo trade has that in spades. Bailey was once touted as the best prospect in the Reds' system (and with as many years of losing and high draft picks that they have, that's certainly saying something), was untouchable in the minors, and is 22 with a cheap contract. Dye is 34 years old and making over $7 million a year. Win win, right?

Wrong.

Before I even rip into Homo Bailey, let's discuss Dye's real value. Dye not only comes through with leadership and post-season hitting (.438 in the 2005 WS and .375 in last year's ALDS), but he's generally the "rock" of the team. He's played over 135 games every year on the team, with at least 25 HR and is generally one of our best run-produces (including a monstrous 120 RBI campaign in 2006). Since leaving Oakland, he has shed his "injury-prone" label to play without far, making some plays in RF that helped bring back memories of Aaron Rowand. Dye is also a clubhouse presence and one of those guys that helps keep a team together. Not really someone you want to give up unless the package is going to be good.

Bailey, on the other hand, has slowly declined in value since an early debut in 2007. Once touted as the best prospect in the Reds' system in 2006, Bailey was brought up in 2007 to face the Indians and promptly fell flat on his face. Bailey never quite displayed any semblance of control, walking 28 batters in 45 innnings (which, sadly, is about on par for him, minors included). Still, he showed flashes of promise over the year with some quality starts, and gave Reds fans hope for 2008.

Fast forward to 2008, and Bailey gets decimated by the longball. Bailey gives up 8 HR in only 36 innings, and gives up 36 runs (32 earned) to compile a 7.93 ERA for the season with various demotions/callups. His strikeout rate has decreased every year since being drafted, he doesn't have much in the way of control (walks way too many guys, serves up a lot of junk), and while he mysteriously seems to thrive in the minors, he's a long way from getting this whole "MLB" thing figured out. He's no Clayton Kershaw.

This is the Joe Borchard/Brian Anderson of pitchers, everyone. A guy who destroys the minors but can't seem to get it together for the big show. For someone else, I would welcome Bailey as another promising project for Don Cooper, and wring my hands in anticipation of our future team. But for Dye? No chance. Besides, as much as Don Cooper loves pitching projects, he's already got enough on his hands with Richard, Marquez and company. Also, who would play Right Field? Or CENTER FIELD for that matter?

Here's hoping this rumor gets squashed and that if we DO trade Dye, we're getting another boatload of prospects (see: Vasquez/Swisher) with some major-league-ready help in the outfield. As much as I love prospects (or websites about prospects), this one creates more holes than it fills.

...I hear Joe Borchard is available.

Holy Shit I Hate This Thing

"You want to keep warm when you're feeling chilled
But you don't want to raise your heating bill
Blankets are okay, but they can slip and slide
and when you need to reach for something -- your hands are trapped inside
Now -- there's the Snuggie!"

OK, so now what

Men at Work

While it's probably very likely that the Vasquez trade is the one and only move the Sox make that's worth a damn, I'd still like to believe Kenny and Ozzie will continue the overhaul. I don't really know what else they would do, but let's take odds of what they can do.

2:1 - Do nothing else of note. Not surprising, really. Kenny likes to stand pat when he thinks he's made all the necessary tweaks to compete, and this might be one of those times.

4:1 - Seemingly worthless FA signing. Why spend big money when you can "fill gaps" with wasted potential? We're talking Jayson Nix's of the world - oh wait, we did that already, didn't we? We can always find Timo Perez or Pablo Ozuna in a pinch, too.

7:1 - A no-name trade. These can actually be a blessing in disguise. It's the way we got Matt Thornton (bye Borchard!) and Carlos Quentin under the radar. The more of these the merrier.

9:1 - Relief help signed. This could be anyone from Juan Cruz to Troy Percival to Brian Fuentes. You can never have enough help in the bullpen, and we seem to like taking former closers and turning them into setup men (Linebrink, Dotel). With Boone Logan out of the picture, SOMEONE is going to have to have those critical 7th inning meltdowns for us.

15:1 - A "too late now" signing by Kenny Williams. Why spend the big bucks on a big name free agent when you can take an all-star name that rings a bell in the fan's mind....until they realize that the player has essentially been retired for the past few seasons. With Griffey gone, I can see Kenny taking a wild swing at Michael Barrett (pun intended), Mark Sweeney, Bartolo Colon, Corey Patterson, Sidney Ponson, Carl Pavano or even Jacque Jones. That's a whole lot of ex-Cubs to choose from. I can see some of those guys panning out (Pavano and Jones), but getting Barrett to languish behind AJ would be just the sort of thing KW would do (see: Toby Hall), not to mention it would be hilarious.

55:1 - Another big trade. With big boys like Paulie and Thome eating roster space and clogging the basepaths, Kenny might (finally) decide it's time to go with a sleeker and speedier lineup ala the Rays. The number of trade options is extremely limited, partially because of Thome and Konerko's various no-trade clauses, and also because you can't send Thome to the NL. There's also talk of Dye and Jenks going away as well as Kenny continues to free up cash and acquire youth.

300:1 - Big name FA signing. This is not going to happen. It's anti-Kenny, but there is the slim chance that the Sox say "screw it, I'm going deep" and shell out the big bucks for a top free agent. Dumping more of our big names will free up the money, and the market is going to be a little more reasonable this year due to the economy. Guys like Sabathia (yes, please) or Manny (yes) may be on the back of Kenny's mind. Hell, I'd be happy with signing Abreu or Alou to help out in a pinch (especially if Dye gets traded).

OFF - Kenny takes all the youth we just acquired and trades it for a washed up player like Chris Carpenter. Kill me.

Any other odds out there?

Good News Keeps On Coming

So much good news at once...I just don't know what to do! I guess we'll take it from the top:

Announcement #1: Javier Vasquez is traded to the Braves. Mood: Pleased. Trading Javy means two things - it means that we're getting some talented youth (which the Braves have in spades), and it means that Clayton Richard is probably going to join the big boys in the rotation (hell yes). While Javy eats innings and strikes out a lot of batters, he is most decidedly the anti-clutch as evidenced last year. Plus, the Braves will eat his $23 million contract. There is a god.

Announcement #2: Boone Logan is going with him. Mood: Ecstatic. Boone Logan has two purposes - growing an awesome goatee, and pitching well in Spring Training. Any other task outside of those basic functions renders him deadly to the team. Case in point, any Logan outing after May. His value is probably at its highest, and trading both Javy and Logan practically guarantees a AAA prospect - not to mention saving some cash.

Announcement #3: Sox are rumored to receive John Gilmore, Santos Rodriguez and Brent Lillibridge. Mood: Happy, waiting for other shoe to drop. I don't give a damn about Gilmore. As far as I'm concerned, a young scrappy 3B is just icing on the cake. Lillibridge is going to fight for (read: win) a job in the infield in the next year or so, and may be a steal for the club in the longrun. If Rodriguez pans out, and Cooper has a tendency to polish turds, this is great news. Sox are also rumored to get another top prospect...

Announcement #4: Sox get Tyler Flowers. Mood: Feel like dancing. Flowers is legit. He's (currently) a catcher. We get a post-AJ backup plan and the guy (roids aside) can flat out rake. He was considered an untouchable for Peavy. We absolutely dominate this trade.

Announcement #5: This quote - "Teams also are being told the White Sox will take offers on first baseman Paul Konerko and DH Jim Thome." Mood: Pants soiled from joy. This was the real announcement I was waiting for. This is Ozzie saying "Hey, Kenny, screw this "win now" bullshit. We've got these tubs of shit on the basepaths eating our cash and they're just not getting it done." Not only does the initial trade free up money to make a move, but freeing one of these guys practically guarantees we make a run at a big name player (Manny or Abreu? Either one in a Sox uni is fantastic news). We can go young and compete for the next 4 or 5 years instead of giving another half-assed shot this year and then being screwed for a decade.

This is just so much good news...stay tuned for updates.

Edit: Also, I totally forgot to announce the winner of the DVD contest - Mordechai wins for his amusing yet pitiful recount of how he was present for the Cubs historic 2003 postseason collapse. I also seem to have lost the email with the full entry. Send me an email with your address before I sell your DVD winnings for smack.

Naaaaasty!

Derrick Rose is good.

These are some awesome highlights from yesterday, when Rose made Andre Miller look the fool for most of the game. These are better highlights than anyone on our team has had in their entire careers (except Aaron Gray).

Daaaaaamn.

-KEG

Happy Birthday To Us

Somewhere around this time last year, a stupid idea became a reality, and a really difficult-to-publicize name was attached to a heavily biased blog about Chicago sports. Since we've spent the last year giving you our side of the story, here's a little trip down memory lane.

- Remember where it all started?

- Remember Brad, The TPC, and Bloomerang back when they contributed to the site (and before our Cubs coverage was entirely one-sided)?

- That time we tried to quit abruptly.

- Our various experiments in boredom: Fun with sign generators, and other randomness.

- That time we won an award for best logo (link is apparently busted).

- When Fisting Andrew Golota joined the crew.

- The clusterfuck "Free Shit Month."

- Our logo contest.

- Our first piece of breaking news, and our first article to be linked to by Deadspin.

- The first revelation of Aaron Gray's true identity.

- The still uncompleted mission.

- Former site mainstays "GMOTD" and "WTTHT"

It's been a hell of a year, and hopefully the next year is even better. We really appreciate all of our loyal readers - all two of you. If you've been sticking around and reading us regularly, you've probably developed a tumor in your brain. We're sorry.

As an added bonus on our anniversary, anyone who comments on this post gets a chance to win a free shirt. I'll pick one of the comments at random and send a shirt out, and because I'm a nice guy, you can get your pick of the logo.

Long live the Dong.