Tuesday, July 8, 2008

GODDAMN IT SHUT UP BRETT

Like my regularly scheduled post-lunch dump, this Favre offseason drama is both expected and a disaster.

I don't care much about Brett Favre and the Packers but I can't stand the terrorist situation (it's no longer a hostage scenario) going on with our northern neighbors.

Here is a condensed version of the 75 hour ESPN special, 35 articles, 400 news reports and mysteriously intercepted text messages: Brett wants to play football because he has nothing else to do. The Packers don't want him back because they have a lot invested in Aaron Rogers and can't keep planning 1 year at a time, dependant on what scent of deodorant Brett wears. The fans are split from what I can tell, since Brett can still play, is a living legend and took them to the playoffs last year.

I have 2 very relevant thoughts on this:

1) I just sent Lovie Smith a text message "Loviecakes- its me, Keggs. We gotta get Brett in the Blue and Orange. P.S. Cedric wants his cast-iron cleats back."

2) There is no way Brett plays for another team. I just don't see it happening (and certainly not with the Green Bay antichrist, Chicago Bears). So have Mike McCarthy or Ted Thompson grow a pair of testicles and make an announcement that Rogers is starting the 08 season and Brett is only welcome to return as a backup. Unless the Packers make a statement like this (or anything definitive) they will be at Brett's mercy indefinitely. The latter also bears a striking resemblance to my fecal episodes.


Brett in his prime:

3 comments:

David said...

I am a Packers fan. and yes, brett is being insanely annoying. we all knew after the season that he would not want to end his career on an awful (even by his standards) int. he played perfectly the rest of the game and mccarthy called about 40 too many passes in that weather, but thats neither here nor there. also, his cryathon press conference was the last bit of evidence, aside from knowing the type of die hard player that he is, that we needed to know that he wasnt ready to retire. but now apparently he does want to come back, and the emotional roller coaster ensues.

its such a tough call for the packers. on the one hand, if brett comes back, we are immediate super bowl contenders. if we dont let him, we get to rebuild and find out if rogers aint so bad afterall (btw when he is healthy he is dead on, balls accurate, see the dallas game?). my personal feeling is we gotta take him back. our defense is really one player away from being super bowl caliber and we know our offense is capable of lighting it up, especially with young players like jennings, grant and that sick, ever improving o-line.

but what if brett insists on coming back and we wont allow him to play for us (sadly, this seems like the most likely scenario. apparently gm thompson texted brett back that he would need to talk later bc he was on vacation. if this was brett circa '96 a gm would be retarded not to pull out from carmen electra while doing it in the swiss alps to ensure brett plays qb for your squad. but this isnt that brett, and lets be honest. at this point, brett is just getting really fucking annoying.

GO PACK GO
-pex the hitman fart

David said...

also, if brett plays for the bears ill kill myself. but he wont. the bears have no one for him to throw to. the real team he should play for is minnesota. minnesota has a sick sick team and the only thing keeping them from greatness is their godawful qb tavaris jackson. brett and pruple jesus would be an offense just the two of them

Keggers said...

Great thoughts from a real Packers fan. How is Brett going to find open recievers when his eyes are all watery from his second NFL farewell tour?

I say you go with Brett one more year because he gives you the best chance to win. If a) you aren't in contention or b) Brett gets hurt you can always go back to Rogers.

By the way, that guy must fucking HATE Brett Favre. Either he never plays his entire career or he plays but willnever be good enough and will always be the guy that kept Brett from sticking around. SO fucked.