That's Harden. Dick Harden.

Yes, he has a black penis that looks like a Thanksgiving day turkey. Don't ask me why.

I'm not going to lie, that's exactly what mine did after I found out about the newest Cub, Richard Harden. The puns with Hard On are too easy to come by. (That's what she said?)

The Cubs were a better team than the Brew Crew even after they landed their second 300 pound major leaguer yesterday (although to be fair to Prince Fielder, he's constipated) - but this just solidifies it.

Sure, he may be the second coming of Mark Prior - but as long as it's Mark Prior 2003 - who gives a rat's cornhole? The cubs lost nothing in this deal other than Sean Gallagher, who wasn't going to start for them this year or next anyway. I hope he does well in Oakland. Murton is a horrible defender and subpar with the bat, which is a bad recipe for a corner outfielder. Eric Patterson is...well, Corey Patterson's brother - so yeah, he can go fuck himself. The best part is, he's not a rental like Sabathia - Harden will join the Cubs for at least another year.

There aren't too many teams that want to face the Cubs right now, let alone when Soriano returns. We'll see if they can sustain this momentum, but they will be really tough to beat in a playoff series with the arms on their bench now.