Sunday, July 27, 2008

Cedric's Weekend Planner

Me handsome.

Sometimes you've got to wonder what a guy like Cedric Benson does in his spare time. I mean, he's obviously got an expansive skillset: DUI, BUI (it's like a DUI, but with a boat), Boating While Black and so on. However, since we dumped Benson, he has even MORE free time on his hands. What's Cedric the Entertainer doing with his newfound offseason free time?

-23%- Harassing the Madden guys to correct his speed rating for next season. Gotta make sure he looks good to prospective teams.

-19%- Practicing walking, then moving on to running. Man, this staying upright thing is hard!

-12%- Sending Cedric the Entertainer letters threatening to sue for defamation of character.

-8%- Planning, just in case they discover a way to install a pot-detecting lock.

-4%- Attending court

-20%- Watching Night Court instead.

-10%- Opening "condolence" cards from Thomas Jones

-4%- Boat shopping

Oh Cedric - shine on you crazy diamond!

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