Save yourself the endless late nights in front of the TV and having to stare at "25" year old gymnasts and fucking hand ball (read that any way you'd like). Here at the Dong, we pride ourselves on cutting to the chase and providing the most relevant and important sporting news, and the Olympics are no exception.
Despite China's best efforts at fighting the worst pollution on the planet, the sky still looks like diarrhea toilet water. So apparently, the fireworks show at the beginning of the Olympics had to be done in CGI, since FIREWORKS were obscured by smog. Nature 1, Beijing 0.
Separately, this chick is on the Paraguay javelin team:
Impressive showing, Paraguay.
If you masochists out there want to see the purported top 50 best looking female Olympians, you can click here but be prepared for disappointment.
More exciting than the "Redeem Team" (coming up next) the US swim team and Michael Phelps have provided some serious entertainment. First of all, nobody loves gold medals more than Phelps. This kid is absolutely dominant and borderline aquatic.
Secondly, after the French claimed "they came to crush the Americans," this was by far the most exciting competition in the Games so far:
Freedom Fries in the 4x100 freestyle relay. Fuck you France.
Phelps is also looking to win a record 8 gold medals. Spitz on you, Mark.
The US team looks like the Dream Team of old, completely crushing all opposition, including the tough Chinese team with Yao and Yi. The US/China game had over 1 Billion viewers on hand to watch LeBron, Kobe, Howard and Wade sleepwalk to a 31 point victory.
Wade by the way, looks completely awesome coming off his surgery last season. LeBron looks completely awesome, as usual.
3) Memorable Moments:
Love this shot of GWB slappin some Olympic ass:
Also love the nipslip in a random live-aired water polo game: NSFW version here (thank you Deadspin).
A few other great links via Deadspin and With Leather on Craig Sager that made me giggle.