Monday, June 8, 2009

Time For A New Sport

Goddamnit...I thought we were playing Gin!

The White Sox and Cubs do what they can to get us through that May-to-September stretch (footballfootballfootballfootball), but when the Cubs squeak out a victory to move into a tie for 3rd place with the Reds and the Sox can't get the job done, it makes time go even slower. Sure, the Hawks and the Bulls distracted us for a bit in May with unexpected playoff runs, but that really isn't going to happen on regular basis.

It's time for a new sport, and I want it to be XARM.

What's XARM, you ask? It's not a radio station - it's fighting without the waiting. If there's one thing I hate about boxing and UFC, it's that one of the guys can be an absolute pussy and pull out a win at the end via decision. Decisions are for pansies. If you're alive at the end of the fight, you win. No other rules.

Needless to say, XARM takes a step in the right direction by tethering the two fighters together. No more of this "I'm running away in a defensive fashion" bullshit. You are attached to your opponent. As a result, the only stoppage of fighting from the devastating haymakers is when the two guys happen to take a break to breathe simulataneously. Otherwise, there's just a shitload of beat-down.

Just look at this:

Fast-forward to 4:30 if you just want to see the beating.

That...that's beautiful! Two behemoths swinging and kicking and doing everything they can to kill eachother. There's even the comic value of the table sitting in the middle! I want to see a season of XARM kick off in June, and go through August - just long enough to get us to football season, but not to conflict with it. We can get a couple of guys from Chicago, and we're all set.
Who's with me?!

1 comment:

Aaron said...

My life may have just been changed. Nice work.

Sorry about your baseball teams. I hate mine, as well.