It's a lovely day...

Now, some of you might expect me to be the sort of person who would carefully savor each morsel of the Chicago White Sox's victory over the hapless Chicago Cubs, but I'm going to prove you all wrong and take the higher road. I will not sepnd the time reflecting on how completely inept your team is, how the Sox bludgeoned your "ace", or how the Cubs managed to blow countless scoring opportunities.

Because they suck.

And are the scum of the earth.

Instead, here's some things I noticed:

#1. Milton Bradley is a bigger defensive liability than I would have imagined. Imagine Scott Podsednik. Now, take Podsednik and break both of his legs. Maybe gouge out an eye to make the depth perception a problem too. Now put him in right field. Every ball hit to right field became an extra base hit because runners (rightfully) challenged Bradley's ability to get to the ball and throw it to the second baseman. I don't watch a lot of Cubs games, but I can see this being a problem.

#2. The infield fly rule apparently applies to a shitty outfield as well.

If you caught the game (and if you didn't, you're probably a "Chicago" fan and need to be killed), you'd know that if your fielders are JUUUUST bad enough, the infield fly rule applies...outside the infield. Not complaining about it (we scored a run because we TAGGED UP), but I am mightiliy amused by this.

#3. The White Sox are getting faster.

I remember last year when the Sox went through baserunning stretches of "station-t0-station" misery. No one could run, no one could PINCH RUN, and generally, unless there were three hits in a row, no one was scoring. With Pods, Anderson, Wise, Bechkam, Getz, Fields, Ramirez, and Nix, you've got a bunch of guys that can all run (being realistic, I did not include Dye on that list). It was nice to see Ozzie bust out some small ball on Sunday, even trying to pull the squeeze with Pods and Wise.

#4. I fucking hate DeWayne Wise.

There, I said it. It's not (entirely) because he takes time from Anderson - it's that he just shoudn't be starting on any major league team. It would be like if Timo Perez were signed to play and we started him over Pods in LF for an entire week. It's the wrong choice! Other facts: I hate his plate approach, I hate his inability to hit, I hate his crappy read on the ball in CF, I hate that his speed is his entire crutch...I even hate his AB music ("Ain't I" by Yung LA)! This marks, what, the third day in a row without Anderson!?

#5. I almost pooped myself when I heard DeRosa was going to the Cardinals.

It was close. I may have sharded a little, but I don't think that counts. Now, if the Cardinals are serious about getting Holliday also, I may need to start bringing an extra pair of pants with me.