Oh man. I cannot even begin to tell you how long I have waited for this. That smug grin. The asshole attitude. The way that his "baseball been berry berry good to me" bullshit was lapped up like putrid milk.
WELL HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, ASSHOLE? TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTE!
Boom! Busted for steroids. Finally! It's like that scene in The Shawshank Redemption where the guy emerges from the sewer and tears his shirt off in that downpour. I don't know why it took this long (is there some federal rule about having to wait six years before skewering a public figure?), but I am RELISHING IT.
We knew it to be true, all of us. Our daily "research" (porn, wipe the browser cookies before the wife gets home, porn after she goes to bed) started every day with the keywords "sosa, steroids, about fucking time." We did the best investigative research available. No stone was left unturned. How did he keep slipping through the cracks? The obvious musculature, the corked bat incident, and yet he was still given a free pass.
And now, my friends, we are victorious. Let it be known that Frank Thomas is, was, and will forever be the best (and only CLEAN) hitter of the 1990s.