Thursday, September 11, 2008

Ozzie knows his football!

"I have an 11 inch penis."

From Yahoo Sports (here):

Ozzie Guillen's first reaction when he saw Paul Konerko crumble to the ground in the fifth inning of Tuesday night's loss to Toronto?

"I (thought) he was out for good," the White Sox manager said of his first baseman. "I (thought) he was that football player, the guy who kisses all the good-looking girls."

Let's be honest, how many times has Ozzie jerked it to Moynahan and Giselle and happened to catch some pictures of Tom Brady? He (admittedly) doesn't give know anything about the NFL but even the great Ozzman cannot escape the favre-esque 24/7 news coverage on Brady's knee.

Boston related sidenote: One of my favorite Ozzie lines occurred last week when he ripped into Red Sox MVP candidate Dustin Pedroia (who is a stout 5"7):

"I never thought I was going to walk a goddamn jockey.” Walking a guy who just came from being on top of Big Brown. Right now, he’s on a roll. This guy right now is on fire. No matter what you throw up there, he’s going to get it. I can’t believe you can change professions in one year, go from the Kentucky Derby to the Boston Red Sox ballpark.”

That is some funny shit.

Oh, and fuck you Boston (almost forgot that).

1 comment:

Gepetto said...

Also good - Ozzie's comments from earlier this week about how you fight like a cat on its back, or go down like a man with your belt tight.

I think there's a bestiality pun in there...