Fantasy Follies

PEW PEW!

Taking a break from, uh, "other important fantasy endeavors" (as shown above), it's time to talk some Fantasy Football. This week Keggers and I go head to head in our "this one is important" league, and I'm probably going to lose (fucker). However, for those of you that need to do some team retooling and insist on hometown pride, chew on these numbers:

BEARS RANKED FROM BEST TO WORST IN TERMS OF FANTASY RELEVANCE:

Matt Forte - This was a gimme. He's been good for about 100 yards every week - but I don't know how long he can keep taking these beatings. Keep an eye on Kevin Jones, especially if Forte starts to show signs of fatigue. Functional League Value: RB2

Robbie Gould - He's as good as gold every year, and the Bears are generally inept when it comes to scoring. If they could get into the red zone more often, he would probably be a top fantasy kicker. For now, he's just really good. Functional League Value: K

Brandon Lloyd - Sleeper alert on this guy. Orton DOES have to throw the ball occasionally, and with Olsen's show of grip last week, it looks like Lloyd will be getting even more looks. He'll probably be good for 4 rec for 40 yards in any given week, but don't expect the red-zone looks. Functional League Value: Bye-Week Plug-in, WR3 in very deep leagues.

Desmond Clark/Greg Olsen - These two are essentially the same, insomuch as that they both COULD score in the redzone...if only we could get there. An average expectation of each is about 3 receptions for 30 yards...and a 10% chance of scoring. You could probably do better. Functional League Value: Bye-Week Plug-in

Kyle Orton - As far as I'm concerned, Kyle is going to be the most consistent player on the Bears. He can't throw a log ball accurately, which keeps him to the short, predictable passes he can perform well. Expect 150y, 0 TD and 0 INT for every week. He's not going to do much else, I promise. Functional League Value: If your league requires that you start at least one Bear and 5 QB's.