I Think I’m Getting a Little Pumped for Baseball Season

That, boys and girls, is Orlando Cabrera turning a double play last year on the Angels. Can anyone tell me the last time they saw Juan Uribe get this much hang-time (other than when he lynched his gardener)?

I could really get used to seeing this sort of thing on the Sox – not only is Cabrera a slick fielder, but he hit .300 last season. Uribe, on the other hand, looks like Grimace in a Sox uniform trying to defend himself from a renegade bumblebee.

I mean, seriously, I don’t think I could handle seeing that tub of shit hacking at the ball for another year. He was a tolerable nuisance in 2005 because of his fielding, but he can’t even do that anymore – now we’re paying $5 million a year for this lardass to sit on the bench. If you need a fat guy to sit on a piece of pine for five months, what the hell are you paying him for? I’m your man – I’d do it for half that!

On the flip side, I’m really going to miss Jon Garland. Yeah, sometimes he played like Judy Garland, but he was a rock solid innings-eater. He was good for 6 innings rain or shine, and delivered plenty of gems in the clutch. Also, when was the last time you saw Garland on the DL?

Exactly.

Either way, we get to see what John Danks and Gavin Floyd can do with the last two spots of the rotation (behind Buerhle, Vazquez, and Contreras), and maybe get Nick Massett and Gio Gonzalez some time in the rotation.

We may just be going back to “The Kids Can Play” motto after all.