Thursday, December 13, 2007

Cubs win! Cubs win!

Looks like the Cubs have the most steroid-abusing team in all of major league baseball!! Hooray!!

Farnsworth, Prior, Wood, Garciaparra, Neifi Perez and of course, the most famous Cub of the last decade, Slammin Sammy Sosa.

Goddammit you boys ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Note: No prominiant Sox on the list. Cameron’s been gone for years and Everett doesn’t count because he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs (so I don’t believe that he exists)
The complete alleged list:

Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose and Ozzie Canseco, Roger Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenny Dykstra, Johnny Damon, Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsoworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces, Jason Grimsley, Troy Glaus, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons, Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr., Darren Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez, Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Schoenweiis, David Segui, Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez,Fernando Tatis, Maurice Vaughn, IJason Varitek, Ismael Valdez, Matt Williams and Kerry Wood Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafaeil Bettancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley


Gepetto said...

You're a bastard. I had a very similar post ready to go, but I was going to wait until the actual report. Sheesh.

bloomerang said...

It's nice to be the best at something besides crushing dreams and completing soul sucking season collapses.

Plus it's nice to know that with all those steroids the team only made the playoffs twice. Looks like steroids don't cure curses.

Brad said...

Okay, are there any real surprises here? You make it seem like it's a shocking revelation.

1) Sosa, obvious
2) Farnsworth - SOOOO pissed that he didn't take down Paul Wilson with his own muscles 4 years ago
3) Lawton - Who? He was on the team for like 4 days
4) Neifi Perez - this is just hysterical. I have no words for how funny this is, even though we learned of this last year.

Between Nomar, Prior, and Wood - it is painfully obvious that great superstars that all of a sudden turn to feeble mush were roiding. At least now I can officially hate Prior for having a vagina.

Wood I'm a bit pissed off about, the guy has worked so hard and is one of the more likable Cubs players.