Thursday, February 7, 2008


$5 says Hawk just made some chocolate fudge in the booth

White Sox fans, rejoice (or, more likely, complain hilariously): the Chicago White Sox have agreed to a three-year extension, putting Hawk in the booth until at least 2011.

See, I've never been a fan of DJ (who is allergic to nouns and passes out when forced to say more than five words at a time), but the Hawk will always be special. Hawk was responsible for some of the best nicknames of the late 90's:

"Black Jack" McDowell, Carlos "El Caballo" Lee, Frank "The Big Hurt" Thomas, "Big Bad" Bobby Jenks and Herbert "the Milkman" Perry are all his names. With the exception of "Big Bad" Bobby (I would have gone with "Beefy Balls", and so would Keggers), all of those stick with you.

Unfortunately for us, Hawk has taken -- how can I put this delicately -- a bit of a slide lately. Those awkward pauses in conversation are now sometimes minutes in length -- I understand that there are times when you shouldn't talk if you have nothing to say (take notes, Chip Caray and Joe Buck) -- but your job is to talk. DJ can't lead a conversation, and I think the most times he's spoken during a game were a multi-HR game by the Sox (he has to say YES with Hawk at the end of every "you can put it on the board).

Not only that, but Hawk has become increasingly pissed off lately: when the Sox were winning, it was much less noticeable, but when the Sox lose, he's unbearable. I must have heard "Dadgummit" more times last year than I ever have. He's always been called a Homer, but that's Sox Pride when you're winning. When you're losing, it's a different monster altogether.

Either way, you have to figure Hawk is due: he was a lousy player, a terrible manager, and a terribly disturbing photo-op. You have to give the guy a chance to run with this extension and hope for the best. You really can't be terrible at FOUR things that you're supposedly good at. That's just pot odds. When Hawk gets into the booth, we have to just "strap it in and hunker down." Then again, the Sox aren't exactly impressing anyone this year.

Dadgummit, indeed.


Anonymous said...

If they're going to pay him this money, he better be doing more of the broadcasts rather then letting DJ go solo for an entire inning or two. Fuck, those are the worst. Could you imagine if the broadcast team was DJ and Singleton? I would never watch another Sox with sound on EVER AGAIN.

Gepetto said...

Actually, with the exception of the occasional pitch calls and the crack of the bat, how would you even know if it was muted?

Anonymous said...

Very true...In terms of the clefties, yeah, they sent around email to all their club members, so now they got all their cronies telling us were pieces of shit and what not..the funny thing is it all got started from an article I wrote for Epic Carnival back at the beginning of December about how awful the BCS Selection Show's weird how that got found 3 months after the fact. Apparently they're a sensitive bunch! I find even stranger is how MBSR hasn't gotten shit for any of the AIDS stuff they post all the time..

Henry said...

I love the hawkaroo but another three years of him completely ignoring DJ is annoying.