Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Word With John St. Clair

My belt exploded

They dumped Muhsin Muhammad and Darwin Walker?

Aw shucks...I really liked those guys. I really have to wonder about what direction this team is going -- Walker was only due $5.0 million next year, and he was a good friend. And while Moose wasn't at his best last year, he was a team leader for all of us. This is a sad day for us Bears --

-- what?

They cut Fred Miller, too!?

Oh hell yes! I'm finally starting! They got rid of that tub of shit in the way! Yes! Yes! Yes! You hear that, Freddie-boy? I finally got the nod, you waste of sperm! You remember that TD I had last year? That was just a taste of things to come! I am ver-sa-tile, and the team knows it. We all know why your play dropped off this year -- it's because of ME. Ex-Lax in your milk, thumbtacks under your seat, and holding your sister hostage were all me, baby. You were so frazzled out there you made Archuleta look useful. Adios! So long! Farewell!

Oh man, I cannot WAIT for this year. This is going to be so fucking sweet -- it's going to be like "The Year of the Dragon," except they're going to be talking about ME. "The Year of the St. Clair?" Nah, that sounds gay. What do you think we --

"John St. Clair is next on the depth chart at right tackle, but the Bears will look to upgrade in free agency and the draft."

Oh, fuck you guys.

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