Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad

Who Needs Writers?

I had no idea this existed! NBC is bringing us the best in incredibly stupid entertainment. First American Gladiators, and now this. I'm so excited about this show I can hardly contain it!

You've got to wonder what the judgment is based on, though. A competition like "my Dad is fatter than your Dad" wouldn't really last 30 minutes, so NBC went all out and decided to determine which Dad was "better."


"Don't miss a moment of this action-packed family game show where dads battle it out in outrageous challenges and stunts. Whose dad is smarter? Faster? Stronger? Which dad knows his kids the best? You'll be in stitches when dads compete for money and neighborhood bragging rights."

Those are all great competitions, but why not expand it to kids who have Dads that specialize in other skills? Not every Dad is the strongest, fastest, or at all interested in his kids. I suggest sending a letter to NBC and requesting the following "universal" events:

Who can drink more beers?

Who can go the longest without asking for directions?

Who can blow the most money gambling?

Whose farts smell the worst?

Who can hit Mommy the most?

Who can snore the loudest?

Who can avoid their family the longest?

Who can eat the most at dinner?

Who can yell the most when I get in trouble?

Even deliquent fathers deserve the right to prove just how good they are at being a Dad. If this isn't family fun entertainment, I don't know what is.


Anonymous said...

Watch out Gepetto, you'll soon have all the domestic abuse crowd sending you vicious emails like were getting now from various people because I said the BCS selection show my made want to punch my cousin's kid with a cleft lip. And that was from early December!

Anonymous said...

And on top of that, I dont even know anybody with a cleft lip

Gepetto said...

In the name of journalism, science, and shock-amusement, that's a risk we're willing to take.

Anonymous said...

Godspeed, sir, Godspeed.