Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Commercial Shoot #1927

Hi there, I'm Bears QB Kyle Orton.

I just wanted to let all of Chicago know that since I signed a recent extension, I'm going to be "in the huddle" for the starting QB job next year.

And then when I don't get the job, I'm going to get absolutely tanked at every nightclub in Chicago.

Cut! Cut! Kyle, what the hell are you doing!? Read the script!

Oh, I guess I let my mind wander a bit then -- sorry.

Orton Commercial, Take Two!

Hi, I'm Kyle Orton. I just wanted to let all of Chicago know that I'm going to be bringing my "huge package" to the offense --

Cut! Jesus Christ, Kyle! I can't help you if you don't concentrate!

What was wrong with "huge package?" It's like a formation, get it? You don't want me to say "Shotgun" and scare kids and parents do you?

Just read the script! We don't have enough film or time for you to be screwing around.

OK, fine, sorry about that. I've got it now.

Orton Commercial, Take Three!

Hi, I'm Kyle Orton. You may remember from such seasons as "2006: that year the Bears almost won everything" and "2007: the year that was all Rex's fault." Well, I'm here to tell you that after my recent contract extension, I'm going to be making whoever does start look great. Isn't that what teamwork is all about?

Go Bears.

Cut. Sigh...print it.

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