Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Bulls Won!

I was privileged enough to have watched the game from the official Dong skybox -- the seats were incredible, and obviously the free drinks were flowing. Here is a rundown of how I saw the game:

Arrive comfortably early to get my pre-game drink on to make the game and the luvabulls more palatable.

During the intros, I started to scream "put in the dong, put in the dong" to no avail and I received what was to be many dirty looks.

Midway through the first quarter several beers down, I tried to rev up the lifeless bulls crowd with a "Noccioni Baloney Pony" chant which actually started to gain some steam amongst the common folk but died down after Noch fell to the floor for no apparent reason.

(how do you say Oscar in Spanish)

The obvious high point was when Aaron Gray got in and began to dominate (aka clog the middle), and the crowd (me) erupted in an MVP chant and watched as Aaron Gray got two quick fouls and was overmatched by a quicker hungrier Al Jefferson. This is where security and Bulls officials started to give me the old "settle down or we'll have to remove you" look, obviously one I've seen many times and one I chose to ignore.

Second half was all about vodka shots in honor of my Russian friend Viktor Khryapa, who on any other team would be the water boy. He actually made a couple shots and looked decent, I think he was revved up because he heard me yell " Я могу чувствовать запах вашей киски отсюда" or, in English, "I can smell your pussy from here."

(He just got a blumpie; hence the huge smile)

I think one of the security guys was Russian because he immediately came over to the box and threatened me, to which I immediately began to yell "don't tase me bro, don't tase me" and he decided I was too crazy to mess with.

Finally, in a shocking move, the Bulls decided to play like a team and actually win a game...convincingly. There was a time where the lineup consisted of Khryapa, Sefalosha, Griffin, Gray and Hinrich...YIKES. But somehow they pulled it off and we might actually see a back to back win streak (we play the T-Wolves again).

One final note, I dont want sound like a queer or nothing but the matadors really turned me on, seriously.

(How badly do you want to nuzzle the guy at the bottom)

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