Thursday, January 10, 2008

A True Chicago Legend

(I love ball, I love court... Johnny are you just pointing to things and saying you love them?)

I'm not a religious man, but now more than ever I feel the need to thank the higher power above for providing us Bulls fans with such a gift. What gift is that, you ask, with the bulls mired in a terrible season? What could I be so thankful for? I'll tell you. His name is Johnny "Red" Kerr and he is the single greatest thing about the Bulls. Win or lose, Michael Jordan or Pete Myers, Johnny Red Kerr will be there with the worst most lovable broadcast in the league. Nowhere can you find such incoherent babble on a nightly basis more than on WGN or WCIU "the U".

Johnny has 33 years of experience in terrible play by play and the most obvious insights known to man. I love watching the game and knowing that he will undoubtedly say, "What we need now is more points; in order for us to win we need to score," and other classics like "If we just stopped them on Defense we could win this thing." And, of course, my favorite: "Stacey get off your knees the second half is starting." It helps me through those tough times -- including this horrible stretch.

I raise my Old Style, in honor of this true Chicago Legend. Here's to you Johnny "Red" Kerr, you saggy ball, senile, Captain Obvious, no-talent broadcaster who only could make it in Chicago: keep doing what you're doing and please never change.

(In ascending order: Jerry Krause, John Paxson, and of course, Johnny "Red" Kerr)

PS: stay tuned for Cubs season when a similar post will reflect my hard-on for Ron Santo


Gepetto said...

How could you forget my personal favorite: "the game doesn't end until the last buzzer."

No shit!

Keggers said...

How dare you rip on Big Red?

The man is a legend, and every word from his mouth is like manna from heaven.

If you think he's stupid, how the hell did you root for Harry C?

Brad said...

I think there's something going on in Chicago with legacy broadcasting positions.

At this point they probably have stopped sending checks to Johnny Red, Ron Santo, etc and they probably haven't noticed, yet continue to provide free broadcasting services.

Sox Machine said...

Back in high school, when I worked part-time at a home and garden store, I helped Red buy some water hyacinths.

True story! If nothing else, he's a real nice guy.