Wednesday, January 2, 2008

From The Belly Of The Beast


"Knicks Suck, Jets Suck, Yankees Suck...Krypton Sucks."

I don't know how much longer I can take this...

In an attempt to provide Keggers with adequate meat for his birthday, I seem to have wandered into some sort of parallel universe run by retarded cab drivers. It's as though Chicago doesn't exist, and if it did, it would only be known for being on the way to California. Some symptoms of the disease:

#1. Referring to any sports team with the name "Sox," even when preceded by the correct color, automatically refers to the Boston Red Sox.

Example:

Passerby #1: "Pardon me fine chap, but do you believe that the White Sox will have a chance in the AL Central this year?"
Passerby #2: "Whaddaya talkin' about? The Sox are in the AL East, and the Yanks will crush 'em!"
Passerby #1: "If I'm not mistaken...I believe I have been stabbed."

#2. The Bears, even when carefully linked to the city and sport, are not a football team. The only "Bears" in the New York lexicon are gay sect (ask Keggers) and the things at the zoo.

#3. The following sentance spewing from your mouth: "The 'Chicago Blackhawks' are that team with the fucking intolerant racist logo and they should change that shit, the bunch of fags."

#4. Finding ESPN to be a reliable source of news information.

#5. Death (see: #4).

Get me the hell out of here.

2 comments:

Joseph said...

u set this one up for me to comment didnt you.

as a New Yorker (yes i still consider my self that) your comments do not accurately reflect its true personality. first of all chciago exists in a new yorkers mind just they have no idea where it is and thinks it cant be reached since its not over the GWB or any of the other bridges. if you mention white sox they will know what u are reffering to as NY is one of the most savy baseball towns and the red sox are reffered to as the sawx. bears do exist but in the stock market and as that team which has a black coach and plays in a space ship. and the blackhawks which new yorker in their right mind is politically correct to coment on their logo other than St. Johns. dont hate on ny because they call chicago the second city. and have 28 world series wins to you 3 3 superbowl wins to your 1. and yes ESPN is a credible source of local news as well as the FAN if we wanted national news we would read the USA today.

Henry said...

Excuse me? What did you just say about Krypton??!