Real Reasons for Noah's Suspension

- Was caught reading Mad Magazine inside playbook folder during practice

- Insisted on referring to assistant coach Ron Adams as 'Ronholio', 'Billy Donovan's Towel Boy', 'Ronnie Dobbs', and 'RonLovin'

- Once threw a kegger in the locker room and puked in Joe Smith's shoes

- Made weekly demands to be traded to whatever team Corey Brewer plays for.

- In one game, threw 10 consecutive alley-oops to Al Horford, just for old times sake.

- Insists on starting off every team meeting by doing this:

- Once showed up to practice wearing a Detroit Ben Wallace jersey and refused to take free throw practice.

- Sends notes during team meetings.

- Doesn't need a Halloween costume.

- Squanders talent.